They're All Coming To Get Me!

Submitted Dec. 17, 1996
Bryan G.
From Peoria, Illinois

• I work as a waiter at Monical's Pizza, and I have a bit of a story to tell! There was once a delivery driver at another Monical's in the area that the assistant manager knew who just happened to be certifiably mentally ill. How he got hired is another story, but basically it was a "hire-the-first-person-thru-the-door" situation for the manager...Anyway, I had the luxury of waiting on this guy!

  At first, he seemed like a normal guy until he opened his mouth. He was so loud that you could hear him throughout the entire restaurant. He began to talk, usually not in complete sentences, about something he referred to as the "Zeta Reticuli" and the "Food Fighters." At first, it sounded like he was talking about the band the Foo Fighters, but no. He said that "Peoria was a good town until the aliens invaded"--all with a straight face! He even claims that his wife is an "extra-terrestrial!" I don't recall all of the details, as I was trying not to laugh directly in his face and just walked away a few times. Of course, when I did leave him, he kept on talking. He also mentioned that his wife can travel to the nearest bar at the speed of light! I've also heard stories about the guy from others who say that he padlocked his car's hood to keep the CIA out, as well as line the bottom of the car with chicken wire! Other than aliens, he has been notorious for talking about Russian invasions, and dogs that wait for him by the dumpster behind the restaurant... Well, that's my story...Has anyone else had any unusual guests like this???